Feedback Wanted! My Elevator Pitch

I'm working on my elevator pitch for Chloe York Fine Art and I'd love to hear what you think about it in the comments below or email me 

"I'm Chloe, an abstract painter. I spent a lot of time at the ocean growing up and love sea creatures and bright colors. In school, I was socially awkward and I have become fascinated with identity and the ways we present ourselves outwardly to the world. Making art and creating is when I'm my very best self. Painting has become important to me not only as a personal outlet, but as a way to share a part of myself, to bring something beautiful into your home that brings you as much happiness as painting brings me. I would love for you to check out my website to view my portfolio and shop my latest works."

What do you think? What is your reaction to the pitch? Does it capture your interest right away? Is it exciting to you? Your help is greatly appreciated!!